It's often said that character is judged on how one acts when nobody is looking. If this is the case, then J.P. Hayes has more character than any person I've ever heard of.
Hayes is a professional golfer who has two wins on the PGA Tour. However, because he finished so low on the money list this year, he is not automatically on the PGA tour next season. He needed to finish in the top 20 of a three stage qualifying match in order to receive his tour card which would allow him enter any tournament he wishes next year. Without that card he would need to qualify for any tournament he wants to play in and won't be guaranteed to make any money next season.
This is Hayes' job. It's how he makes his living. So it's fair to say that this qualifying match to get his PGA Tour card was a pretty big deal for him. That's why I was so impressed when he decided to call a foul on himself.
Hayes was on his first round of the three round match when he asked his caddy for a ball. His caddy gave him a ball for his tee shot on the par 3 hole. Hayes struck his tee shot short of the hole, chipped his ball onto the green and then went to mark it. When he looked at the ball he realized it was not the same ball he had been playing with. This is a two stroke penalty as you must continue playing the same ball you started your round with. Hayes called over an official, told him what happened, took his penalty and finished the hole. Hayes ended the round with a 74. He had a 71 his second round that day and was in very good position to finish in the top 20 and get his tour card.
Later that night in his hotel room Hayes made a terrible realization. He looked at the ball and realized it was a Titliest prototype that may not be approved for tour use. This violation could result in disqualification. Hayes remembered getting some prototypes a while back to test out but had no idea how the ball got into his golf bag. He says he checks his equipment all the time and didn't know it was there. He was now faced with a decision to make. He could turn himself in and possibly be disqualified and remove himself from any chance of getting his tour card next season or say nothing. Nobody would ever know. This is his career we're talking about. He's not in some Sunday morning league with some friends. He's a professional golfer who relies on tournament winnings to support himself and his family. So what did he do? He made the phone call.
Hayes called an official and told him what happened. The official said he would need to speak with some people and would get back to him. When Hayes got the return phone call he received the news he had already feared. The ball was not approved and he had been disqualified from the tournament, thus removing any chance he had to get his tour card for next season.
Golf is a gentleman's game which relies on the players calling penalty's on themselves. Had Hayes not said anything nobody would have ever known.......nobody but him that is. He said he thinks any other player in his position would have done the same thing. I'd like to believe that. The truth is that in life, not only sports, people are often put in positions like this. To choose whether to do the right thing or what's best for ourselves. And I have a feeling Hayes' decision is not made often.
I applaud what Hayes did. He chose the integrity of the game over his own self interests. He made the game bigger than himself.
J.P. Hayes won't be on the PGA Tour next season, but I guarantee he has the respect of everyone who is.
November 20, 2008
November 16, 2008
Melrose Get's A Raw Deal
I was sitting on my couch watching Brokeback Mountain (it's disturbing how much I like that movie) the other day when I went to the ESPN homepage to learn that Barry Melrose had been fired as head coach of the Tampa Bay Lightning just 16 games into the season.
I must admit, my first reaction was to laugh as I have never been a fan of Melrose. Growing up a Red Wings fan, I found it comical how he would insist the Wings' European puck possession style could not win in the NHL and the only way to win in the league was with the old school style of simply hitting and fighting your way to the cup. Melrose played in the Red Wings' system and thought he was next in line to coach them when instead they brought in Hall of Famer Scotty Bowman in 1994 to lead the once proud organization back to glory. Melrose never got over it and has held it against them ever since.
However, after giving it some thought I think Melrose deserved a better fate than what he got. Most in the hockey world thought it was a bit of a weird hire when the Lightning gave him his first coaching gig in 13 years this past July. He was taking over a team just four years removed from winning the Stanley Cup and they made some nice acquisitions to the club in the off season which led many to believe they were trying to make a serious run to win this year. So why bring in a man who hasn't coached in over a decade to attempt to lead them?
16 games is not enough time to legitimately grade a coach. The Lightning were 5-7-4 at the time of the firing. Not a great record, but still just three points out of the playoffs with 66 games to play. This was strictly a difference of philosophy between the ownership/upper management and Melrose. There were rumors that just five games into the season General Manager Brian Lawton was addressing the team during games, cutting the coach's legs out from under him. Captain Vincent Lecavalier was complaining about his ice time, which was down almost three minutes a game from last season, even though Melrose was told at the time of his hire that the organization didn't want Lecavalier playing as much as he did last season in an attempt to try and save his legs for the second half of the year.
My question is this, did Melrose really misrepresent himself that much during the interview process as to what kind of a coach he would be and how he wants his team to play? Did that much change in the four months since he was hired that would lead management to think that the person who is coaching their team is not the same man they interviewed? I find that hard to believe as that would be coaching suicide since nobody would ever want to hire him again....which likely will happen to Melrose anyway. The only other option is that there was a difference in coaching philosophy and style right from the get go, yet the Lighting hired him anyway. If this is the case then the blame falls strictly on the owners. If I want my grass cut one way, but you only cut the grass a different way and I hire you regardless and then complain about the way you cut it, who is to blame? The fact remains that the Lightning set Melrose up to fail. Even Hank Steinbrenner thinks this was cruel......well, maybe not Hank, but his father probably did.
And who does the organization turn to to lead the team for the rest of the season? Assistant coach and amateur bookie Rick Tocchet. Yes, the same Rick Tocchet who was convicted less than two years ago for running numbers in an illegal gambling ring while assistant coach for the Phoenix Coyotes. He was reinstated to the league less than one year ago and has never been a head coach at any level. I think it's safe to say the new ownership of the Lightning are learning on the job as to how to lead an organization. Either that or they took an Al Davis seminar on how to treat a head coach. Either way, this move works out for them no matter what. Should things turn around, they get all the credit for making the change. Should Tocchet falter and the team falls deeper and deeper into the abyss, they can lay all the blame at Melrose's feet for the failed season.
Two things however are for certain following this move. Barry Melrose will never coach again in the National Hockey League and the people of Tampa Bay and St. Petersburg now have a man running their team they can turn to should they want to lay down a bet.
I must admit, my first reaction was to laugh as I have never been a fan of Melrose. Growing up a Red Wings fan, I found it comical how he would insist the Wings' European puck possession style could not win in the NHL and the only way to win in the league was with the old school style of simply hitting and fighting your way to the cup. Melrose played in the Red Wings' system and thought he was next in line to coach them when instead they brought in Hall of Famer Scotty Bowman in 1994 to lead the once proud organization back to glory. Melrose never got over it and has held it against them ever since.
However, after giving it some thought I think Melrose deserved a better fate than what he got. Most in the hockey world thought it was a bit of a weird hire when the Lightning gave him his first coaching gig in 13 years this past July. He was taking over a team just four years removed from winning the Stanley Cup and they made some nice acquisitions to the club in the off season which led many to believe they were trying to make a serious run to win this year. So why bring in a man who hasn't coached in over a decade to attempt to lead them?
16 games is not enough time to legitimately grade a coach. The Lightning were 5-7-4 at the time of the firing. Not a great record, but still just three points out of the playoffs with 66 games to play. This was strictly a difference of philosophy between the ownership/upper management and Melrose. There were rumors that just five games into the season General Manager Brian Lawton was addressing the team during games, cutting the coach's legs out from under him. Captain Vincent Lecavalier was complaining about his ice time, which was down almost three minutes a game from last season, even though Melrose was told at the time of his hire that the organization didn't want Lecavalier playing as much as he did last season in an attempt to try and save his legs for the second half of the year.
My question is this, did Melrose really misrepresent himself that much during the interview process as to what kind of a coach he would be and how he wants his team to play? Did that much change in the four months since he was hired that would lead management to think that the person who is coaching their team is not the same man they interviewed? I find that hard to believe as that would be coaching suicide since nobody would ever want to hire him again....which likely will happen to Melrose anyway. The only other option is that there was a difference in coaching philosophy and style right from the get go, yet the Lighting hired him anyway. If this is the case then the blame falls strictly on the owners. If I want my grass cut one way, but you only cut the grass a different way and I hire you regardless and then complain about the way you cut it, who is to blame? The fact remains that the Lightning set Melrose up to fail. Even Hank Steinbrenner thinks this was cruel......well, maybe not Hank, but his father probably did.
And who does the organization turn to to lead the team for the rest of the season? Assistant coach and amateur bookie Rick Tocchet. Yes, the same Rick Tocchet who was convicted less than two years ago for running numbers in an illegal gambling ring while assistant coach for the Phoenix Coyotes. He was reinstated to the league less than one year ago and has never been a head coach at any level. I think it's safe to say the new ownership of the Lightning are learning on the job as to how to lead an organization. Either that or they took an Al Davis seminar on how to treat a head coach. Either way, this move works out for them no matter what. Should things turn around, they get all the credit for making the change. Should Tocchet falter and the team falls deeper and deeper into the abyss, they can lay all the blame at Melrose's feet for the failed season.
Two things however are for certain following this move. Barry Melrose will never coach again in the National Hockey League and the people of Tampa Bay and St. Petersburg now have a man running their team they can turn to should they want to lay down a bet.
November 14, 2008
Penis Is The New Boob
Gone are the days when we went to the movies with the hope of only seeing a boob, maybe two if we were lucky, on the big screen. We've entered the new millennium my friends. The era of men showing their balls and penis' on screen for laughs, and I'm eating them up.........eesh, bad choice of words.
Three of the top grossing comedies of the last year, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Zack and Miri Make A Porno all have one thing in common, men walking around stark naked.
It makes sense, the vagina and boob are so 1996. This is 2008, we as a people need more to bring laughter to our lives. We won't settle for the same old jokes anymore. We need something fresh and new. And what's fresher than a man's flaccid penis?
It's just amazing to me that major motion pictures can get away with this. Even Cinemax, the late night king of soft porn, can't show a man's penis. And I would know, I've been watching it since I was four.....sorry mom.
Now I'm not saying I don't like boobs anymore. I love boobs. Heck, I'll probably look at boobs when I'm done writing this. But the fact remains that there is something comical when a man shows his cock 'n' balls. When Jason Segel was completely naked in Forgetting Sarah Marshall for what seemed like a half hour, I was laughing uncontrollably. And when he bent over and his testicles were an inch away from touching the ground, a smile was brought to my face that I haven't had since childhood (for completely different reasons.....I hope).
We all knew it would come to this. We as young boys used to be dumbfounded in the gym locker room when old men would walk around completely naked swinging from limb to limb like they were playing whiffle ball, yet we would still chuckle at it. I now know why. The man's penis, no matter what age, is funny. And I'm glad too. If the day ever comes when I start giggling like a school girl because a woman was walking around naked, that's the day I turn in my gun and badge. Why do you think women always laugh when they see a dildo? It's not cause they're happy, it's because there's something funny about a veiny penis. I get it.
In Walk Hard, we don't even see the guy's face who is flaunting his package, just his abs to his knees (by the way, that was a little too close to John C. Reilly's face for comfort if you ask me, but I guess that's why he's such a good actor). And that's the way I want it. If I'm going to be staring at your balls for an extended period of time, I don't want to look you in the eye. I don't even want to know you have a face. I prefer we keep this strictly professional. You show your dong for laughs, I laugh, we move on. End of story.
This is a copycat world we live in. One man shows his penis on the big screen, it gets laughs, next thing you know every major comedy across the board has naked men in it. If Charlie Chaplin were alive today, he'd be doing a silent picture with his cock hanging out......and the theater would be packed.
Will Ferrell, Jason Mewes, Jason Segel, Seth Rogan (only ass, no balls), all of these men have taken off their clothes for the sake of comedy, and they're laughing all the way to the bank. Remember when it used to be indecent and wrong to show your naked body on screen? Those days are gone. It's now the sheik thing to do. If you don't have a shot of a penis in your new movie, then you're asking for a box office blunder.
So if you're looking for some good ole fashioned family comedy, don't go see any of these movies. But if you're in the mood to look at another man's naked body while laughing, then head out to theaters to see Zack and Miri, or go to the video store (those still exist right?) and rent Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I would suggest you do what I do when you're done watching though. Put on a little all lesbian porn just as a reminder that the penis is for comedy, but this is still what we're really all about.
Three of the top grossing comedies of the last year, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Zack and Miri Make A Porno all have one thing in common, men walking around stark naked.
It makes sense, the vagina and boob are so 1996. This is 2008, we as a people need more to bring laughter to our lives. We won't settle for the same old jokes anymore. We need something fresh and new. And what's fresher than a man's flaccid penis?
It's just amazing to me that major motion pictures can get away with this. Even Cinemax, the late night king of soft porn, can't show a man's penis. And I would know, I've been watching it since I was four.....sorry mom.
Now I'm not saying I don't like boobs anymore. I love boobs. Heck, I'll probably look at boobs when I'm done writing this. But the fact remains that there is something comical when a man shows his cock 'n' balls. When Jason Segel was completely naked in Forgetting Sarah Marshall for what seemed like a half hour, I was laughing uncontrollably. And when he bent over and his testicles were an inch away from touching the ground, a smile was brought to my face that I haven't had since childhood (for completely different reasons.....I hope).
We all knew it would come to this. We as young boys used to be dumbfounded in the gym locker room when old men would walk around completely naked swinging from limb to limb like they were playing whiffle ball, yet we would still chuckle at it. I now know why. The man's penis, no matter what age, is funny. And I'm glad too. If the day ever comes when I start giggling like a school girl because a woman was walking around naked, that's the day I turn in my gun and badge. Why do you think women always laugh when they see a dildo? It's not cause they're happy, it's because there's something funny about a veiny penis. I get it.
In Walk Hard, we don't even see the guy's face who is flaunting his package, just his abs to his knees (by the way, that was a little too close to John C. Reilly's face for comfort if you ask me, but I guess that's why he's such a good actor). And that's the way I want it. If I'm going to be staring at your balls for an extended period of time, I don't want to look you in the eye. I don't even want to know you have a face. I prefer we keep this strictly professional. You show your dong for laughs, I laugh, we move on. End of story.
This is a copycat world we live in. One man shows his penis on the big screen, it gets laughs, next thing you know every major comedy across the board has naked men in it. If Charlie Chaplin were alive today, he'd be doing a silent picture with his cock hanging out......and the theater would be packed.
Will Ferrell, Jason Mewes, Jason Segel, Seth Rogan (only ass, no balls), all of these men have taken off their clothes for the sake of comedy, and they're laughing all the way to the bank. Remember when it used to be indecent and wrong to show your naked body on screen? Those days are gone. It's now the sheik thing to do. If you don't have a shot of a penis in your new movie, then you're asking for a box office blunder.
So if you're looking for some good ole fashioned family comedy, don't go see any of these movies. But if you're in the mood to look at another man's naked body while laughing, then head out to theaters to see Zack and Miri, or go to the video store (those still exist right?) and rent Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I would suggest you do what I do when you're done watching though. Put on a little all lesbian porn just as a reminder that the penis is for comedy, but this is still what we're really all about.
November 13, 2008
Gold Standard No More
A wise man once said make sure you always start off with a bang. In the spirit of that statement, I figured it only be right to use my first blog to slam the person I despise the most in this world.....Charlie "The Coward" Weis!
For decades The University of Notre Dame has maintained that it holds itself to a higher standard than any other university, especially when it comes to their football program. They refuse to join a conference, even in the ridiculous BCS era where a conference winner automatically gets a BCS bowl bid (ask anyone in the Big Ten if they would prefer to be an independent over the past few years). And they have always held their coaches to an extremely high standard when it comes to winning.
Weis' football team enters their next game with a mediocre 5-4 record. They have lost three out of their last four games, including a 17-0 shutout to Boston College (the first time that has happened in the 18 times these two have played) this past Saturday. His football teams are 1-15 in their last 16 games against opponents with an above .500 record. And since fat boy got his 10-year contract extension midway through his first season his teams are 1-8 against ranked opponents.
So what did the only man with two asses do? He threw his offensive coordinator under the bus publicly and reclaimed the play calling duties of his team.
Now this alone does not make him a coward. He is the head coach and has every right to call the plays if he chooses. It's the timing of this whole thing that got to me. All chubs has been saying during this losing streak is that they are on the right track and that he can get them out of this funk they are in. So how convenient that their next two games are at Navy (giving up 29.2 PPG) and home versus Syracuse (33.3 PPG). Now we can watch the Irish put up 35 against Navy and probably put a 60 spot on the board against the Orangemen and listen to Chuck say how Notre Dame is on the right path with him at the helm and calling the plays was the reason for the offensive breakout. Never mind the fact that he is 27-19 through his first 46 games (a worse record than Bob Davie had at that time) and his best coaching job was losing to USC. If you think about it, his signature win was a come from behind victory against a Michigan State team that didn't make a bowl (had a hurricane not broken out during halftime the Spartans probably win that one).
I know that Offensive Coordinator Mike Haywood is attending a funeral on Thursday in Houston. But isn't it strange that when Weis was asked if Haywood would regain his play calling duties when he returns, tubby had no comment. If that doesn't scream 'let's wait and see what we do this week' I don't know what does. Weis could have chosen anytime this season to take over the play calling. He even could have let Haywood, who rejoins the team on Saturday, help call the plays against Navy. But instead he chose to handle the offense against the two worst defenses on the schedule. It wouldn't shock me to see him call the plays the next two weeks while he claims he's letting Haywood take some time with his family and then hand him back the reins at USC. And after the Trojans pound Notre Dame and the Irish offense only puts up a field goal, Weis can use that to show how much better the team is with him calling the shots and how that is the reason for their offensive futility this season.
All we've heard is that it was Tyrone Willingham's fault for the 3-9 debacle last season. Yet we forget this is Weis' fourth year with three full and highly rated recruiting classes and he's shown bubcus. I guarantee if Rich Rodriguez has a 3-9 season in his third year at Michigan, the only team he'll be coaching is the California Penal League (that may not be so bad considering that's where most of the Miami Hurricane's end up playing).
But in all honesty, I hope Notre Dame does hang onto Charlie. I love watching them struggle week in and week out and nothing would make me happier than seeing Weis in year six trying to explain to the media that the Irish are on the right path and should return to glory anytime now. All hail the Gold Standard!
For decades The University of Notre Dame has maintained that it holds itself to a higher standard than any other university, especially when it comes to their football program. They refuse to join a conference, even in the ridiculous BCS era where a conference winner automatically gets a BCS bowl bid (ask anyone in the Big Ten if they would prefer to be an independent over the past few years). And they have always held their coaches to an extremely high standard when it comes to winning.
Weis' football team enters their next game with a mediocre 5-4 record. They have lost three out of their last four games, including a 17-0 shutout to Boston College (the first time that has happened in the 18 times these two have played) this past Saturday. His football teams are 1-15 in their last 16 games against opponents with an above .500 record. And since fat boy got his 10-year contract extension midway through his first season his teams are 1-8 against ranked opponents.
So what did the only man with two asses do? He threw his offensive coordinator under the bus publicly and reclaimed the play calling duties of his team.
Now this alone does not make him a coward. He is the head coach and has every right to call the plays if he chooses. It's the timing of this whole thing that got to me. All chubs has been saying during this losing streak is that they are on the right track and that he can get them out of this funk they are in. So how convenient that their next two games are at Navy (giving up 29.2 PPG) and home versus Syracuse (33.3 PPG). Now we can watch the Irish put up 35 against Navy and probably put a 60 spot on the board against the Orangemen and listen to Chuck say how Notre Dame is on the right path with him at the helm and calling the plays was the reason for the offensive breakout. Never mind the fact that he is 27-19 through his first 46 games (a worse record than Bob Davie had at that time) and his best coaching job was losing to USC. If you think about it, his signature win was a come from behind victory against a Michigan State team that didn't make a bowl (had a hurricane not broken out during halftime the Spartans probably win that one).
I know that Offensive Coordinator Mike Haywood is attending a funeral on Thursday in Houston. But isn't it strange that when Weis was asked if Haywood would regain his play calling duties when he returns, tubby had no comment. If that doesn't scream 'let's wait and see what we do this week' I don't know what does. Weis could have chosen anytime this season to take over the play calling. He even could have let Haywood, who rejoins the team on Saturday, help call the plays against Navy. But instead he chose to handle the offense against the two worst defenses on the schedule. It wouldn't shock me to see him call the plays the next two weeks while he claims he's letting Haywood take some time with his family and then hand him back the reins at USC. And after the Trojans pound Notre Dame and the Irish offense only puts up a field goal, Weis can use that to show how much better the team is with him calling the shots and how that is the reason for their offensive futility this season.
All we've heard is that it was Tyrone Willingham's fault for the 3-9 debacle last season. Yet we forget this is Weis' fourth year with three full and highly rated recruiting classes and he's shown bubcus. I guarantee if Rich Rodriguez has a 3-9 season in his third year at Michigan, the only team he'll be coaching is the California Penal League (that may not be so bad considering that's where most of the Miami Hurricane's end up playing).
But in all honesty, I hope Notre Dame does hang onto Charlie. I love watching them struggle week in and week out and nothing would make me happier than seeing Weis in year six trying to explain to the media that the Irish are on the right path and should return to glory anytime now. All hail the Gold Standard!
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